Friday’s essay explained why: an offer is a verdict on your kid, and the aid package is a verdict on a budget. Friday gave you the facts. Today is all about what to do when the call, text, or email comes in.
The first hour
Before the tuition math, before the group chat, before you tell anyone, do one thing. Write down what was said, in the coach’s own words.
Not just “they want him.” Write down the exact sentence: “We’d love to have you in our program.” “We’re going to make you an offer.” “We see you as a scholarship player.” These are three different sentences, but by dinner, they can blur together. Memory can exaggerate, and excitement does it even more.
Find the rung
Now place what was said on the ladder. Recruiting has five rungs, and families often treat rung 3 as if it were rung 5:
They know your name.
They want a closer look.
They want you on the roster.
They’ve named a scholarship.
It’s on paper.
Only rung 5 is a true scholarship: a written aid agreement with a dollar amount. Rungs 1 through 4 are real and worth celebrating, but none of them is about the money yet (Recruiting, 2019).
Then the three questions from Friday
How much? For how long? On what conditions?
How much means the amount per year and what it covers. For how long means how many years the award runs and how it gets renewed. On what conditions means what needs to stay true for the award to continue, like grades or roster status. Ask these questions by email so you have a record. If you get a spoken answer, treat it as uncertain. If there’s a deadline, ask why it’s there.
One more thing just for you: don’t start spending any of it yet — not in your mind, not on a spreadsheet, and not at the dinner table. Kids can usually sense when a family is counting on a number.
That’s the free part. It will get you through the first hour.
I’m a sports parent, just like you. I read the science so you don’t have to, and then I share it as something you can use by the weekend. Free every Friday.
The Friday essay explains the why. The Sunday tool is the what: scripts, routines, and worksheets you can print and use. Not a paid subscriber yet? Those Sunday tools are what a paid subscription gives you.
However you read The Drive Home, I’m glad you’re here.
The three questions are easy to ask but hard to keep track of. When the second school calls, and then the third, it’s tough to remember which coach said what, which answer was in writing, or what each offer really costs. That’s how families end up comparing feelings instead of numbers.
Everything above explains the why, and it’s yours to use. If you know a parent whose child just got “the call,” share this with them before they start thinking about tuition.
Below is the what:
The Recruiting Reality Worksheet, six pages, one file
The Program Insert is three pages you print for each school. It includes what was actually said (with the full Offer Ladder), the questions to get answered in writing, and the four-year Real Math table.
Side by Side is a page that lets you compare up to three programs at once.
Before You Decide is a guide for the conversation to have with your athlete, including what to say and what not to say.
A worked example, with made-up numbers
That’s the equip layer, available to paid subscribers.
